Wednesday, January 27, 2010

How To Write A Sex Advice Column

Teaching sexuality can occur in many different ways. Sex education is not limited to a classroom or the bedroom. For those of you who plan on incorporating technology into your career, you may have come across the idea of creating an internet sex advice column.

According to Debra Levine, the popular advice columnist from, there is a specific way to arrange your advice when answering and educating people through a sex column. There are three parts you should list in your advice: 1) Explain what the concept is, 2) Give specifics about the concept, and 3) Provide two references (one offline and one online). Your answer to the question should be more of a commentary, rather than actual advice.

Below, I created my own answer to a commonly asked question. Try doing one yourself, and have fun with it! Please take note that you need to know who your audience is. If your sex advice column is purely for educational purposes, you should avoid using slang terminology. Personally, I enjoy adding a little entertainment in my answers.

Where is the clitoris and why is everyone talking about it?

A rose is the key to a woman’s heart. An orgasm is the key to a woman’s happiness. Giving your woman an orgasm will make her temporarily happy. It’ll give you just enough time to run out and buy her a rose (in case you’ve forgotten it’s your anniversary)!!

The majority of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. If you have been with an extraordinary amount of women who orgasm from penetration, you’ve either had the pick of the litter or maybe you should be rethinking your techniques! The chances are you will not be able to tell if she’s faking it. Even if you're with a woman who can orgasm during coitus, play it safe by learning exactly where the "clamburger" is. In order to find the exact location, check out some human sexuality books at your local bookstore. Also, the following website reveals the female genitalia in 3-D:

Enjoy, and's not just the clitoris! The shaft, legs, glans, and bulbs of the clitoris give orgasms as well! LEARN THEM ALL!


  1. Two great pieces of information: producing a resourceful sex advice column along with example.

    Creative and effective blogging on sex advice is an art of teaching.I like the following link which shares tips on how to draw the readers' attention to your blog.

    The sex advice response to the question posed "Where is the clitoris and why is everyone talking about it?", reminds me of two very important concepts: Knowledge and communication. Learning the structure and function of your partners' and your own body will assist in understanding each others emotional and physical responses. Communication is the basis for relationships and affects every part of our daily life.

  2. Kelly some good advice. I actually have an advice blog that I write and one of the tips that I can give that is very important is to include a disclaimer on your blog. More important than giving out advice is to protect yourself and your career.

    Some good examples are available here

    An example of a sex advice blog that I use that I ran by a bunch of my lawyer friends is... "DeDe is currently pursuing her PhD in Human Sexuality. She is also a professor of Sexual Health Issues. DeDe is not a medical doctor and her advice should never replace the advice of a doctor."

  3. okay, here's my attempt using the recommended guidelines:

    Hey guys! Looking for the clitoris? Check under the hood! NO....not THAT hood. A woman’s clitoris can sometimes be found under a protective hood of skin above and in front of the urethral and vaginal openings. And like any hood it protects a woman’s vital ‘engine’ to guarantee consistent performance.

    Now seriously, if you are asking about the clitoris, you are probably missing out on the most joyful, ecstatic experience. Everybody listen up!

    First, an anatomy lesson:

    The clitoris is a tiny organ which even the woman to whom it belongs may find difficulty in seeing. Located above and in front of the urethral and vaginal openings, it is structurally connected to the labia minora (the inner lips of the vagina). The visible glans of the clitoris, which is hooded by a prepuce formed by the meeting of the labia minora, is, however, only the outward and visible manifestation of much more extensive erectile tissue, which forms a padding over the pubic bone. The whole structure is densely packed with nerve endings: although there are a similar number to those of the penis, they are much more concentrated and closer together.

    When erotically stimulated, the clitoris becomes engorged and erectile; when a high degree of arousal is reached it retracts, with the effect that it appears to have reduced in size. Vaginal lubrication takes place along with the engorgement of the outer part of the vagina. When sexual excitement reaches its peak, orgasm takes place, with rhythmic contractions of the muscles around the clitoris and vagina. Unlike men, women have the capacity for multiple orgasm without an intervening refractory period (anatomy lesson courtesy of Jones & Lopez Human Reproductive Biology).

    Now you can’t know enough about this part of a women’s genitalia. For further education, consider attending Vulva University where you will find a number of classes and earn your advanced degree:

  4. Kelly this blog came at such a perfect time! A friend asked me to write a sex column for a new magazine she is working on. I really like what you said about providing references to support responses. An activity we did in Dr. Koch's class was tracking down the actual research study of information presented in main stream media. An interesting phenomen was that lots of messages and data results were skewed based on the intent of the magazine. So I really caution in using resources and trying to find primary resources.


  5. Kelly, what a great way to start! When writing an advice column or blog, make sure to proofread before posting any materials. Not only will it be easier to read, it will look much more professional as well! Here is a resource for grammatical errors:


  6. Kelly, what an excellent way to start our blog! I've often thought about starting one but didn't have a clue where to start. I also think all the comments posted were beneficial as well - reminding people to proofread, protect yourself, and the importance of finding primary resources. Thank you so much for providing a starting point!!

    Sandra, you did a great job with your attempt as well!!

  7. Everyone-Thank you for being so kind with your posts! I was quite nervous at first, but I really enjoyed reading your responses and am definitely going to take your advice! Darcy-congrats, and Danielle-thank you for the disclaimer example. I will definitely be using one from now on!

  8. Here is a link for a study in educational psychology on the topic of using newspaper advice columns as an educational materials. The study focused on the developmental psychology students using weekly advise columns to highlight and discuss the issues as related to the teaching methods used in the class. Although this study isn't specific to sexuality issues or to how to create a sex advice column, I thought it may be helpfull for teachers who need journal references for the use of advice columns:

  9. One important skill is evaluating or critiquing online sex advice columns especially for adolescents. I wrote my master’s thesis on sexuality education on the internet under the supervision of Dr. Hicks, a graduate of the program. Part of my research looked at the sex advice columns available online from which adolescents were getting their information about sex. Some sites, such as Planned Parenthood’s, and are run by established and recognized sexuality education organizations and provide accurate and appropriate sexuality advice. Despite the existence of some good sexuality online advice columns for adolescents there are many that give them misinformation. For example, there are sex advice columns online written by adolescents that state you cannot get pregnant if you have sex in certain positions. There are other online sex advice columns whose messages are geared for adults and discuss inappropriate topics and messages for adolescents. There are also religious sites that use scare tactics when giving online sexuality advice. As sexuality educators it is important that we educate adolescents on how to evaluate and critique online sex advice columns, as well as direct them to appropriate sites, so that if they do turn to the internet they can get accurate advice and information.

    Brian Alexander’s MSNBC article “Sex Ed on the Web: The Birds and the Bees at the Click of a Mouse” gives a good overview of some of the sexuality education advice columns available to adolescents on the internet that sexuality educators should be familiar with. His article can be found at


  10. I was a writer/researcher for goaskalice! once upon a time. The best advice they gave for answering questions was to look for the underlying questions within the question. For example, something may seem like its about anatomy on the surface, but could really be about talking to a partner about how, when, and where to touch them.

  11. I've always liked the idea of starting from the basis that there is a certain level of experience a reader might have with their sexuality and you as an educator can provide additional information, thus elevating the knowledge base of the adult learner. Like Knowles, Holton and Swanson discuss in "The Adult Learner," " Adults have a deep need to be self-directing; therefore, the role of the teacher is to engage in a process of mutual inquiry with them rather than to transmit his or her knowledge to them and then evaluate their conformity to it" (2005, p. 40).

    For instance, educators at places like Babeland do this kind of education, in my mind:

    They manage to go on the assumption, which a lot of the comments here also seem to suggest, that sex education should treat adults as though they have a basis for understanding and go from there. It is our responsibility as educators then to learn what the knowledge base of our audience is and build from there.

  12. Sex Column
    I really enjoyed reading your post. It was very helpful, as there are many sexuality topics that need columns. When working with individuals it’s helpful to provide them with resources they can explore privately and share if they desire. Reading columns on sexuality or any subjects, allows the reader an opportunity to privately explore various perspectives. It also, allows the reader an opportunity to explore personal views on subject matter without judgment. Here are a few resources I found interesting and helpful:

  13. This is really a nice and informative, containing all information and also has a great impact on the new technology.